Ghetto Air, Customs, & the Charming Flight Attendants

“Finally!! I’ve pined to get back to Europe since the second I landed in the States last April.” – my first thought on the flight.

9:10pm – Somewhere over the Atlantic en route to Dublin.

I have the first 5 hour leg of the light under my belt. It was pretty uneventful as flights tend to be. We read every cup, travel journal page, emergency landing, and the Air Mall magazine… an hour had passed. *sigh* About 5 hours later we began our descent, so I tucked away my book and decided to wait the “couple of minutes” to land. What felt like 8 hours later, we finally touched down. Seriously, the longest descent in the history of aviation. Every noise and sound of pressure change implied we were landing, but time after time, it wasn’t to be. Kenia questioned if we were, in fact, descending into the core of the Earth! We finally landed in Philly for a 2 hour layover and made our way to try a Philly Cheesesteak only to learn we had only 20 minutes until boarding.

In case you didn’t know, apparently, Philadelphia is a time warp zone. Food to go and back on a damn airplane for another 8 hours.

This plane is nothing like we expected. It was small, standard two-row plane that one would see on cheap domestic flights. No TVs in the headrests, everything looks shabby, Kenia’s tray was broken, and the TVs that did exist were in extended over the aisle and were complete with lines in the 15″ screen.

Our flight

Things didn’t improve. Mom was bumped with the flight attendant cart twice, had her foot stepped on, and our flight attendants were Class A assholes.

Exhibit A: Naturally, full Murphy style, Mom messes up her disembarkation card and is convinced customs is going to find her error fishy and she’ll be subjected to a nude, full-body search. “Ma’am is there a reason you put your whole name in the first name field? Please step aside.” (Her first international flight…and have I mentioned we call her “Murphy.) This in mind, she asks the flight attendant with a giant stack of cards in his hands for a replacement. He said, “No it’s fine.” with a flick of the hand and immediately made an announcement to the entire plane, making an example of her. He added the note “By all means, DO NOT LOSE THE CARD.” Sooo… apparently there are no replacements to be had. Those paper cards in his hands must be priceless.

Exhibit B: Not only is the plane completely falling apart, but our new flight attendant is a peach. When passing out breakfast at 8am, I responded to her question about sugar or cream stating I would like a Splenda. She didn’t acknowledge hearing me, nor did she provide me with the requested Splenda… so I repeated myself. She gave me the ugliest look ever and rudely stated (with major attitude) “I heard you!” She then tosses me the Splenda and while throwing Mom her hot water for tea, gives Kenia a shower, because along with hot water, she was throwing hot attitude all over the airplane. I watched her help other hesitant passengers and the scowl on her face could win some awards. Wow.

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2 responses to “Ghetto Air, Customs, & the Charming Flight Attendants

  1. OMG! LOL! What a perfect description of our flight there! Now, I can laugh about it, tho! I didn’t realize, until now, that Murphy actually joined us in Philadelphia! LOL!

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