“When I was walking down Argyle Street today, I saw a pigeon eating vomit off the sidewalk. I decided, right then and there, that the pigeon’s reputation as a “rat with wings” is well deserved. .” – Long Aye-lander in Glasgow
I am scared of birds.
Yes, you may scoff at my fear of flying creatures, but you have to admit pigeons are dirty, nasty little beings. People don’t call them flying rats for the hell of it!
I have had many embarrassing moments at the hand of bastard birds. I cannot walk with swagger at the harbor when the seagulls stalk me because I’m so nervous, nor can I enjoy a pleasant meal outdoors in a food court without the threat of little robins and pigeons strutting by like they own the place. (shudders) I constantly embarrass myself by flinching when they get too close and edging away from their waddling path.
Most recently, I was enjoying a pleasant bike ride at Lake Murray with my mom and daughter, Kiyah. We stopped at an adorable little picnic area near the water and unpacked our lunch. There were a few swans on the lake, but they were far enough away for me to appreciate. Then they started getting a little closer to the waters edge and I got a little nervous, but kept my stiff upper lip. So I’m keeping my eyes on the swans…. and ducks now…. around the corner, when I heard a crazy honking sound to my side. Oh my god, a posse of geese start walking towards us! They must’ve smelled the bread (or my fear) and decided to partake. It was like a terrifying parade of birds all of the sudden! Swans in front of my, ducks to my right, geese to my left…all squawking and honking! I was terrified. My mom tried shooing them away, (she grew up on farm so she’s bird friendly) but they were rogue birds and came right back! I was being surrounded! Finally, I couldn’t even act tough anymore. I packed up EVERYONE’S food real quick and bolted back to the bike trail! Sandwiches were smashed, chips were crunched, and my mom’s cell phone even ended up wrapped in with her sandwich we discovered upon re-opening our picnic lunch. Hey, I was in a hurry! What can I say? When my mom (and even Kiyah) stopped laughing at me and caught up I could appreciate the humor. I realize how crazy it can appear, but man, it was not a pleasant moment. Curse you birds!
So the point of this embarrassing example was to add validity to my dislike of pigeons. Those beady eyes, overfed, scavengers. Grrr… I warned my travel partners that I will NOT be accompanying them to St. Mark’s Square in Venice. You know…the pigeon capital of the world!! NOW, I have happened across a blog that validates my point. Enjoy.